It's not Monday.
It's not Monday. It's Thursday.
Anyways.
Lately, and too frequently, I've been overthinking about college and my future and everything else. And overthinking is the precise word for it. Overwhelmed is also a precise adjective for how I'm feeling. There is so much I have to do, and honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. Nobody has told me what to do. My parents are just as clueless as I, but I don't blame them.
I think maybe they're reluctant to see me go. My dad even said, "I don't think you should go too far off, to like Europe or somewhere. It's hard. At first you're gonna love it but then you'll miss home and you'll feel lonely...blah, blah, blah". And he's not the only one that says I'll be missing home when I'm gone, teachers and everyone. I don't think so. I think I'll be fine.
It's not like I don't love them. I just feel independent already; I have for a while now. I even think that living by myself will actually help me change for the better. That's what I told Benjamin the other day. No, I told him that if I studied in Tegucigalpa I'd have a hard time 'cause I would be at risk of offending my family any moment, while somewhere else, I would not care if I offended anyone. With family you have to be cautious so as not to break any bonds. Isis Mercedes showed me that when she went to live over there and suddenly she hated Tegucigalpa. I already dislike the city, I do not wish to dislike my family as well.
And I don't know exactly what it is about Ms. Sarah that makes me so nervous about asking for help. She's just so unwelcoming. Always seeking to ahuevarte. Witch (with a b). They're all witches in that school. Ugh.
Perhaps I'm aiming too high. Columbia, Harvard, Cornell, Stanford, even UBC. I even doubt about getting into a public univeristy. And even if I get admitted, they wouldn't be paying full scholarship.
But what about Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica. I would like to go there too. But it's so hard to find scholarships or sponsorships 'cause I don't know what to search or where to search or who to search. I need help.
And my grades are not looking like I want them to. I'm trying hard to not be upset, or too upset. If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine. I get it. I just wish I didn't feel like I do right now. I'll just have to repeat it to myself.
If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine.
If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine.
If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine.
Oh, and also, I'm still not sure what I want to study.
Anyways.
Lately, and too frequently, I've been overthinking about college and my future and everything else. And overthinking is the precise word for it. Overwhelmed is also a precise adjective for how I'm feeling. There is so much I have to do, and honestly, I have no idea what I'm doing. Nobody has told me what to do. My parents are just as clueless as I, but I don't blame them.
I think maybe they're reluctant to see me go. My dad even said, "I don't think you should go too far off, to like Europe or somewhere. It's hard. At first you're gonna love it but then you'll miss home and you'll feel lonely...blah, blah, blah". And he's not the only one that says I'll be missing home when I'm gone, teachers and everyone. I don't think so. I think I'll be fine.
It's not like I don't love them. I just feel independent already; I have for a while now. I even think that living by myself will actually help me change for the better. That's what I told Benjamin the other day. No, I told him that if I studied in Tegucigalpa I'd have a hard time 'cause I would be at risk of offending my family any moment, while somewhere else, I would not care if I offended anyone. With family you have to be cautious so as not to break any bonds. Isis Mercedes showed me that when she went to live over there and suddenly she hated Tegucigalpa. I already dislike the city, I do not wish to dislike my family as well.
And I don't know exactly what it is about Ms. Sarah that makes me so nervous about asking for help. She's just so unwelcoming. Always seeking to ahuevarte. Witch (with a b). They're all witches in that school. Ugh.
Perhaps I'm aiming too high. Columbia, Harvard, Cornell, Stanford, even UBC. I even doubt about getting into a public univeristy. And even if I get admitted, they wouldn't be paying full scholarship.
But what about Argentina, Chile, Costa Rica. I would like to go there too. But it's so hard to find scholarships or sponsorships 'cause I don't know what to search or where to search or who to search. I need help.
And my grades are not looking like I want them to. I'm trying hard to not be upset, or too upset. If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine. I get it. I just wish I didn't feel like I do right now. I'll just have to repeat it to myself.
If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine.
If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine.
If I'm meant for greatness then I'll get there, in God's terms, not mine.
Oh, and also, I'm still not sure what I want to study.