When mom is in vacation, she reads.
When mom is in vacation, she reads. I guess that's from where I get it. But mom, she blocks out everything and everybody else when she reads. So, this time my excuse is pretty understandable. Mom would not lend me my computer, or even listen when I asked.
Speaking of whom, today is her birthday. I made a pizza, which did not turn out pretty (at least it tastes good), and baked a cake, which does look good (and hopefully tastes great). I really love mom. I don't tell her much though.
I don't tell anybody that I love them.
But maybe she'll feel happy, if only for a moment.
It's been hard lately. We owe two months-worth of payments in school for both Esther and I. My pill is running out and I'm not sure if I'll get more, or if I'll continue the treatment. We used Esther's savings to buy the ingredients for today. Dad still doesn't have work. And sometimes I think he doesn't have the spirit to work either, as if he has already given up. His solutions consist on praying, praying together, leaving it on God's hands. That is not wrong but I know for a fact that God will not solve our problems. We have to solve them, and pray that God will give us strength and faith to carry out our plans.
It's always been hard, monetarily, but it has never been like this time. I wasn't able to do exams (Esther did, though her case was Mrs. Payne's mistake when writing the lists of yes and no). It felt awkward mostly, 'cause people would talk to me about the exam and then I'd have to explain how I didn't take it 'cause I haven't paid blah blah blah, and then they'd say things like don't worry, you'll do them later blah blah blah. One thing I did not forget was April saying, "why do you even come?". No idea with what intention she said it but it could have been kept.
I did the exams. Dad talked to Mrs. Payne. I'll do tomorrow's as well. We still haven't paid and I have no idea when we will.
I found Ms. Roberta and gave her a signed slip about phones during TES and she asked about what was happening. I told her, crying while at it. She gave me an info. sheet about Walton scholarships and told me, repeatedly, that I'm a great candidate. I went to find Mrs. Mariana, the ballet teacher, 'cause she had info. or something and did not find her so I went to the bathroom. My thoughts were: my English is cool when I cry; do I ever just look in the mirror (I was looking in the mirror) and look into my eyes instead of just pointing out my flaws?
I realized, with just a bit of bitterness, that these people (school authorities) aren't that bad; they're actually pretty kind-hearted. Mrs. Hyde even messed up my hair, twice, and asked me why hadn't I talked to her sooner. I had wanted to cry right then so I just smiled up at her and continued to solve complex number problems.
I searched the universities linked to the Walton scholarships and they're not that vast in majors. I only found Mechanical and Electrical engineering, two of my options but not my top ones. And they're Christian.
And there isn't a way I can even apply to UBC without a year in university here. This Friday, I'll make my college application plans. They'll be thorough and to my liking and will map out my life after high school with as many variations as possible. I just need to keep praying to God for wisdom to find the opportunites I seek and make the decisions most auspicious for me.
Speaking of whom, today is her birthday. I made a pizza, which did not turn out pretty (at least it tastes good), and baked a cake, which does look good (and hopefully tastes great). I really love mom. I don't tell her much though.
I don't tell anybody that I love them.
But maybe she'll feel happy, if only for a moment.
It's been hard lately. We owe two months-worth of payments in school for both Esther and I. My pill is running out and I'm not sure if I'll get more, or if I'll continue the treatment. We used Esther's savings to buy the ingredients for today. Dad still doesn't have work. And sometimes I think he doesn't have the spirit to work either, as if he has already given up. His solutions consist on praying, praying together, leaving it on God's hands. That is not wrong but I know for a fact that God will not solve our problems. We have to solve them, and pray that God will give us strength and faith to carry out our plans.
It's always been hard, monetarily, but it has never been like this time. I wasn't able to do exams (Esther did, though her case was Mrs. Payne's mistake when writing the lists of yes and no). It felt awkward mostly, 'cause people would talk to me about the exam and then I'd have to explain how I didn't take it 'cause I haven't paid blah blah blah, and then they'd say things like don't worry, you'll do them later blah blah blah. One thing I did not forget was April saying, "why do you even come?". No idea with what intention she said it but it could have been kept.
I did the exams. Dad talked to Mrs. Payne. I'll do tomorrow's as well. We still haven't paid and I have no idea when we will.
I found Ms. Roberta and gave her a signed slip about phones during TES and she asked about what was happening. I told her, crying while at it. She gave me an info. sheet about Walton scholarships and told me, repeatedly, that I'm a great candidate. I went to find Mrs. Mariana, the ballet teacher, 'cause she had info. or something and did not find her so I went to the bathroom. My thoughts were: my English is cool when I cry; do I ever just look in the mirror (I was looking in the mirror) and look into my eyes instead of just pointing out my flaws?
I realized, with just a bit of bitterness, that these people (school authorities) aren't that bad; they're actually pretty kind-hearted. Mrs. Hyde even messed up my hair, twice, and asked me why hadn't I talked to her sooner. I had wanted to cry right then so I just smiled up at her and continued to solve complex number problems.
I searched the universities linked to the Walton scholarships and they're not that vast in majors. I only found Mechanical and Electrical engineering, two of my options but not my top ones. And they're Christian.
And there isn't a way I can even apply to UBC without a year in university here. This Friday, I'll make my college application plans. They'll be thorough and to my liking and will map out my life after high school with as many variations as possible. I just need to keep praying to God for wisdom to find the opportunites I seek and make the decisions most auspicious for me.