I purposefully postponed writing for the whole last week.
I purposefully postponed writing for the whole last week. So much was happening and so much was expected to happen that I wanted to compact it all into one entry.
Now where do I start?
I found a penny, heads up, just as I got out of the car in a trip to the supermarket. I said to Mom, "This will be the day that I found my luck." Then she said, "We don't believe in luck." And I said, "Okay then, this will be the day I found blessings."
Anyway, it was a good omen for me. Oh, and it was a US penny.
So, there is a HUGE novelty at school. This new boy came, and he's neither a student nor teacher. Mrs. Ilze's son, Fernando, came home from Uruguay, where he studies, and is being employed at school for, I think, helping in the library. Thing with him is that his hair is so awesome. He has it shoulder-length and it's so shiny and think and wavy. He constantly combs it back when it gets in his face, and it's such a sexy move if you ask me. His smile is the cutest ever, the kind that makes you want to smile back always. He's a bit taller than me and slimmer than he was two years ago when he graduated from the school.
Downside, I had formed my impression of him two years ago, and it was that he seemed weird and a bit dumb. I know, I know; I didn't even know him, but still, one can make assumptions. Although, I was not that far off, he is a bit weird. (But so is his mom and little brother.) Sometimes he laughs a weird (but adorable) laugh or says something weird (but funny).
I guess I've developed a crush on him. Today he told me that he'll stay until April.(!)
He speaks to me. We've spoken.
Here is were I start talking about the Read-a-thon.
It's this school-wide activity where everybody binge-reads till they drop (I think that was only in my case). Taking entire class periods to DEAR (drop everything and read), reading at home and taking tabs on the amount of pages you read. It was admittedly a pretty clever idea. I loved it. Like I said to Nicolle so she could quote me, "This is the best excuse to binge-read ever!" I read three books in four days. The last book I took out I still haven't finished; it's kinda boring.
Anyway, on Tuesday I returned the first book I finished and Fernando was there. (Quick note: some classmates, including myself, made fun of him by calling him Jesus. Ha.) He was in charge of the check-out/in. We had a small conversation. He asked my name, said it aloud, wrote it down. He was goofy.
Same for the next two days. He learned my name, joked with me, made a show of telling me to hurry to class and stop modeling (in my defense, I was unaware that I was "modeling", sometimes I walk funny because I want to). It was embarrassingly cute.
Today I asked him about the book I needed for my book report (point of Read-a-thon) and he stood close to me, like, you-can't-look-anywhere-else-but-my-eyes close. I held his gaze for like 10 seconds. Like an hour later, I went to the bathroom and as I passed by the library, I banged on the door's window. He gave me a look that told me to shut up 'cause it's the library and there's a librarian here who could get us in trouble. I tried to look apologetic. He came to the door and simply answered my unasked question, "I left it on my mom's desk." I smiled, gave him a thumbs up and thanked him. (Meanwhile, Daphne looked quizzical.)
When I got back, I walked to the teacher's desk and there it was. "Finding Lubchenko" with a post-it that said: G. Lacayo.
He was just doing me a favor, I guess. But I liked it. A lot.
There also were two incidents: one with Nicolle, the other during a Knowledge Bowl practice. First, Nicolle. On Friday, there was a football game that I wanted to attend. At first everybody wanted to go too but during the rest of the day they cancelled. Afterschool Nicolle said how all her "companions" weren't going, so she wouldn't, and I said that I was still going and wasn't I a "companion" and she went all like, well I didn't mean it like that. How else could she have meant? I told her so and she was all like whatever take it like you want, as if she is the one who should feel offended. Ugh. She sometimes shows traces of her former self-centered self. I doubt she and I will ever get along. Today she patted me on the back as if I was stupid, just because I entered a conversation I was not following. She's the stupid one.
The other incident was that I got to the practice, on Tuesday, all hyped up after having stressed over a drawing for Technical Drawing. I began answering the questions, my voice getting louder each time. I was being shushed by Mr. Carlos because Ms. Sarah was nextdoor. At a question of John Nash, I lost it, jumpimg up and screaming, "Schizophrenia!", while everybody stared at me and Mr. Carlos scoled me. I walked out like whatever, you can't handle me. I came in again, keeping quiet, just so they got the hint that I was angry.
In the end, I guess they forgot all about it, on both occasions.
Whatever.
On Wednesday, Mrs. Eleana read us a Charlie Chaplin speech from his movie "The Great Dictator". It was beautiful. We are not machines. Don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty. And other beautiful things. At some point, someone mentioned Mr. Carlos, freedom, and his wedding ring. He held up his hand and with inmense pride said how this [being married] was his freedom. He chose this [being married] so it was his freedom. Pretty touching what he said.
Maybe I'm not over Ronald, I don't know. No. Yes I know. I'm over him. I'm over Zelaya too. I'm into Fernando now. Not Fer Fernando, no. Fernando, Mrs. Ilze's son. Him yes.
Thing is that being seated next to Ronald is distracting me from my getting over. He touches my arm sometimes. And asks me to explain stuff to him. And begs me to work with him in Physics. And smiles at me when I'm silly and laughs at my jokes. But he's not decent.
So, the Friday of the game, instead of cheering on the Golden Panthers (who won gloriously, gosh I missed it), Dad invited us to eat at Pizza Hut. Mom and Yeye were waiting for us, talking about Game of Thrones. I said something very critisizing to Mom, how she doesn't get Dad and his work because she never worked as an engineer while Dad has always done so. She never takes criticism lightly. She looked offended, like always.
Highlight of that lunch/dinner was when Yeye and Mom started questioning why Esther, Yeye and I did not get along at all. Mom spoke of her disappointment of having three girls who did not like each other. In other words, BS. I always shut up when they talk about it. What can I say? How do I explain something I don't get either? I prefer to be indifferent with Yeye, specifically, because she belongs to that group of people I can stand for so long before wanting to beat the crap out of them. It's just me. I'm like this and I believe people don't change. Sadly, I'm people. I don't want to be but I am.
Mom said something hurtful too. The same as Dad, she restated how I'll never get my way in life, how I'll suck at life 'cause of my attitude, how I should change my attitude or else I'll suffer. Again, BS.
I volunteered a few facts about me: how I don't have any favorite anything, no song or band or singer or color or food, just one thing. A word. Conspiracy.
They said I was weird.
I like being called weird.
I am weird.
Lastly, the church Youth Group. I'm sub-coordinadora although I was the first nominee for coordinadora. I declined because of my lack of free time and my possible departure. That's why I asked Esther to partner with me so that if I leave, she'll pick up the responsability. I think maybe this'll be good thing for me. I'll see. So far, so good.
During a "pesca de jóvenes", this girl Maria José, (19 but seems younger because of the way she acts), threw a plastic bottle to the ground. I exploded with how dare you's and said a really mean thing I hope she quickly forgot about, "Because of people like you..." and something along the lines of the world being worse.
I felt offended. Why? Perhaps it's because I so deeply believe in "saving the world" and that it could be done by eliminating the trash by first eliminating consumerism. Baby steps though.
That's it.
Now where do I start?
I found a penny, heads up, just as I got out of the car in a trip to the supermarket. I said to Mom, "This will be the day that I found my luck." Then she said, "We don't believe in luck." And I said, "Okay then, this will be the day I found blessings."
Anyway, it was a good omen for me. Oh, and it was a US penny.
So, there is a HUGE novelty at school. This new boy came, and he's neither a student nor teacher. Mrs. Ilze's son, Fernando, came home from Uruguay, where he studies, and is being employed at school for, I think, helping in the library. Thing with him is that his hair is so awesome. He has it shoulder-length and it's so shiny and think and wavy. He constantly combs it back when it gets in his face, and it's such a sexy move if you ask me. His smile is the cutest ever, the kind that makes you want to smile back always. He's a bit taller than me and slimmer than he was two years ago when he graduated from the school.
Downside, I had formed my impression of him two years ago, and it was that he seemed weird and a bit dumb. I know, I know; I didn't even know him, but still, one can make assumptions. Although, I was not that far off, he is a bit weird. (But so is his mom and little brother.) Sometimes he laughs a weird (but adorable) laugh or says something weird (but funny).
I guess I've developed a crush on him. Today he told me that he'll stay until April.(!)
He speaks to me. We've spoken.
Here is were I start talking about the Read-a-thon.
It's this school-wide activity where everybody binge-reads till they drop (I think that was only in my case). Taking entire class periods to DEAR (drop everything and read), reading at home and taking tabs on the amount of pages you read. It was admittedly a pretty clever idea. I loved it. Like I said to Nicolle so she could quote me, "This is the best excuse to binge-read ever!" I read three books in four days. The last book I took out I still haven't finished; it's kinda boring.
Anyway, on Tuesday I returned the first book I finished and Fernando was there. (Quick note: some classmates, including myself, made fun of him by calling him Jesus. Ha.) He was in charge of the check-out/in. We had a small conversation. He asked my name, said it aloud, wrote it down. He was goofy.
Same for the next two days. He learned my name, joked with me, made a show of telling me to hurry to class and stop modeling (in my defense, I was unaware that I was "modeling", sometimes I walk funny because I want to). It was embarrassingly cute.
Today I asked him about the book I needed for my book report (point of Read-a-thon) and he stood close to me, like, you-can't-look-anywhere-else-but-my-eyes close. I held his gaze for like 10 seconds. Like an hour later, I went to the bathroom and as I passed by the library, I banged on the door's window. He gave me a look that told me to shut up 'cause it's the library and there's a librarian here who could get us in trouble. I tried to look apologetic. He came to the door and simply answered my unasked question, "I left it on my mom's desk." I smiled, gave him a thumbs up and thanked him. (Meanwhile, Daphne looked quizzical.)
When I got back, I walked to the teacher's desk and there it was. "Finding Lubchenko" with a post-it that said: G. Lacayo.
He was just doing me a favor, I guess. But I liked it. A lot.
There also were two incidents: one with Nicolle, the other during a Knowledge Bowl practice. First, Nicolle. On Friday, there was a football game that I wanted to attend. At first everybody wanted to go too but during the rest of the day they cancelled. Afterschool Nicolle said how all her "companions" weren't going, so she wouldn't, and I said that I was still going and wasn't I a "companion" and she went all like, well I didn't mean it like that. How else could she have meant? I told her so and she was all like whatever take it like you want, as if she is the one who should feel offended. Ugh. She sometimes shows traces of her former self-centered self. I doubt she and I will ever get along. Today she patted me on the back as if I was stupid, just because I entered a conversation I was not following. She's the stupid one.
The other incident was that I got to the practice, on Tuesday, all hyped up after having stressed over a drawing for Technical Drawing. I began answering the questions, my voice getting louder each time. I was being shushed by Mr. Carlos because Ms. Sarah was nextdoor. At a question of John Nash, I lost it, jumpimg up and screaming, "Schizophrenia!", while everybody stared at me and Mr. Carlos scoled me. I walked out like whatever, you can't handle me. I came in again, keeping quiet, just so they got the hint that I was angry.
In the end, I guess they forgot all about it, on both occasions.
Whatever.
On Wednesday, Mrs. Eleana read us a Charlie Chaplin speech from his movie "The Great Dictator". It was beautiful. We are not machines. Don't fight for slavery, fight for liberty. And other beautiful things. At some point, someone mentioned Mr. Carlos, freedom, and his wedding ring. He held up his hand and with inmense pride said how this [being married] was his freedom. He chose this [being married] so it was his freedom. Pretty touching what he said.
Maybe I'm not over Ronald, I don't know. No. Yes I know. I'm over him. I'm over Zelaya too. I'm into Fernando now. Not Fer Fernando, no. Fernando, Mrs. Ilze's son. Him yes.
Thing is that being seated next to Ronald is distracting me from my getting over. He touches my arm sometimes. And asks me to explain stuff to him. And begs me to work with him in Physics. And smiles at me when I'm silly and laughs at my jokes. But he's not decent.
So, the Friday of the game, instead of cheering on the Golden Panthers (who won gloriously, gosh I missed it), Dad invited us to eat at Pizza Hut. Mom and Yeye were waiting for us, talking about Game of Thrones. I said something very critisizing to Mom, how she doesn't get Dad and his work because she never worked as an engineer while Dad has always done so. She never takes criticism lightly. She looked offended, like always.
Highlight of that lunch/dinner was when Yeye and Mom started questioning why Esther, Yeye and I did not get along at all. Mom spoke of her disappointment of having three girls who did not like each other. In other words, BS. I always shut up when they talk about it. What can I say? How do I explain something I don't get either? I prefer to be indifferent with Yeye, specifically, because she belongs to that group of people I can stand for so long before wanting to beat the crap out of them. It's just me. I'm like this and I believe people don't change. Sadly, I'm people. I don't want to be but I am.
Mom said something hurtful too. The same as Dad, she restated how I'll never get my way in life, how I'll suck at life 'cause of my attitude, how I should change my attitude or else I'll suffer. Again, BS.
I volunteered a few facts about me: how I don't have any favorite anything, no song or band or singer or color or food, just one thing. A word. Conspiracy.
They said I was weird.
I like being called weird.
I am weird.
Lastly, the church Youth Group. I'm sub-coordinadora although I was the first nominee for coordinadora. I declined because of my lack of free time and my possible departure. That's why I asked Esther to partner with me so that if I leave, she'll pick up the responsability. I think maybe this'll be good thing for me. I'll see. So far, so good.
During a "pesca de jóvenes", this girl Maria José, (19 but seems younger because of the way she acts), threw a plastic bottle to the ground. I exploded with how dare you's and said a really mean thing I hope she quickly forgot about, "Because of people like you..." and something along the lines of the world being worse.
I felt offended. Why? Perhaps it's because I so deeply believe in "saving the world" and that it could be done by eliminating the trash by first eliminating consumerism. Baby steps though.
That's it.