I wrote this a few days ago.
I wrote this a few days ago but I wanted to respect my only-write-on-Mondays-schedule (which I haven't really respected since today in Tuesday, oops).
Here it goes:
I can’t tell her to f*ck off. She’s my aunt and my mom would kill me. This is one of the many reasons why I do not want to come live in Teguc. Aunt Dea is so nosy. Her all time questions are: who is your best friends? Who do you hang around in school? Who do you like? LIKE SHE WOULD F*CKING KNOW ANY OF THE NAMES I WOULD SAY!! It’s always been like this with her. Every. Single. Time. We. Visit. It’s like she’s programmed to pry into our lives. My life is nobody’s business but mine and God’s, but His case is kinda inevitable, though. And I hate when Isis Mercedes responds to her in my name. She’s always teasing me about not having any friends because I hate everyone and other bullsh*t. What the f*ck does she know? WHAT THE F*CK DOES ANYBODY KNOW?!? Like Anna and Sofia trying to justify my not having a “best friend”. It was good of them to try and take the attention off of my crying, but their bullsh*t was annoying. Just like my mom’s. Is she really defending my apathy?
It had to happen again, right? I cried. F*CK, I CRIED ABOUT THIS AGAIN! The friend topic is a soft spot for me. It actually hurts me that I don’t have any. Yes, a huge factor is probably my personality. But is it really that bad? Is there no one out there with whom I can relate? Nobody likes me just as much as I don’t like them. This is another reason why I want to leave. I want to leave. Perhaps it’ll give me a fresh start; a chance to begin again. All those around me already know me. Correction: all those around me think they know me. They don’t. Nobody knows me, except God. Not even I’m on that list. Why don’t You tell me, God?
Let me try. Georgina is…
She is picky with those she lets be around her. She does not like people that swear, curse, or taunt. She prefers people that have ideas in their minds, not gossip or criticisms. She likes those who have plans and visions.
She is sensitive. Be careful with what you say to her; she’ll remember if you said something mean. Yes, she is resentful. And proud. Hurt her and it’s probably the last time you’ll interact with her. This also applies to when things don’t go her way. Of course, she is aware of this egocentric aspect, so sympathize with her, or apologize if you were involved.
She is loyal and jealous. Once you’ve established a bond with her, she’ll never want to let go, unless you provoke her. She is protective but possessive. She’ll either love you to death or actually take you to your death (kidding). You always have to seek her because she’ll seek you. Be with her. Talk with her. She likes being liked. However, if there is something she loves, don’t assume she wants you to love it too. Let her tell you.
She is sincere. Don’t ever ask her opinion unless you actually want to hear it. She speaks her mind, whether that hurts anybody’s feelings or makes their day. Yet, she has no problem with lying, if the situation calls for it.
She likes her space. She is reserved most of the time. She has difficulty expressing her feelings. Maybe you can ask her to write them down but making her talk openly about what she’s thinking, feeling, is a hard task. Take the risk and she’ll cry or ignore you or both.
She is headstrong. Trying to change her mind requires really good arguments, which still stand little chance. She has an open mind, though, after some assessing has been done. She is understanding and comprehensive, despite what others might think. Her mind is always racing.
That's it. I want to keep writing it.
Her mind is always racing. She's probably either thinking of improbable situations for the now or daydreaming for the future.
She is easily angered, mostly when things don't go her way. She can be rude and offensive, most of the times unintetionally. She has a hard time making friends, which saddens her deeply, but she'll never let you know how deeply.
There. Let's see what other event happened in the last week? Oh, yes! The New Year came. It's 2017. It's 2017. Wow.
What will this year bring, I wonder. Hopefully not trouble, which most likely I'd bring to myself.
I made a reading challenge, and I don't mean the Goodreads kind. There I can only challenge myself to a number of books. No, I made a list with specific details about a book, like a book over 500 pages and a book with a number in the title. I think perhaps this will be fun! And it has so far! I've marked off two, three already!
Another thing I want to start doing is writing. I mean, what I'm doing here is blogging. I want to actually write. Short stories perhaps. I seldom do it. Have I ever done it with fervor? Not that I can remember.
Oh, maybe I should do a New Year's Resolution. As cheesy as it is, maybe it's exactly what I need to sort out my life. Big steps and huge changes await in my near future, I should be more worried. But I'm not 'cause that is not helpful. See, I'm changing already. Actually, I've become laidback a while ago, I think since last summer.
Seriously, when did I stop caring? No, Georgina, care. Care, I say! Maybe I'll write that down in my Resolution.
So, oh, and it's Esther's birthday. I didn't hug her, instead I slapped her butt and said, "Happy birthday". She was okay with that. Out of all of my family, I think she's the only one smart enough to not get mad about my standoffishness. I can go as far as saying that she understands me on some level, perhaps because we're basically the same age, but I think she knows how frustrating it is when people just get into your business.
Speaking of, why is Isis Mercedes so eager to want to be my "friend"? Hasn't she learned from past experience that I do not want to be "friends" with her? She is my sister. Period. Plus, she's as nosy as Aunt Dea. And Mom. That's why, on this matter, I prefer my Dad's side. Neither he nor the rest of the family ask such prying questions.
I read somewhere about a few New Year's Eve traditions, one of which I adopted immediately. It consists on writing down a list of wished for the coming year, then on January, (I assumed any day in January, but obviously it meant the 1rst), you had to burn it and no one could know what you wished for. I've written mine, but I folded it up. I'll be burning it when I get back to Ceiba. I guess the idea ressembles a prayer. God, I hope you hear it in the flames.
That sounded creepy.
Anyways, that's it I guess.