Dear Alien

Dear Alien,

Please probe my brain. 

Find out what is wrong with me. 

And tell me. 

Then tell me how to fix it, so life doesn't suck for me anymore.

But you'll probably not want to probe my brain anyway.

Because I'm so stupid.

I'm pathetic.

No. You want to probe the brain of people that are important, famous, successful.

Not me, who's a nobody.

Actually, you might want me. 

After you get better samples, you might need one from a weak specimen.

And then you'd know.

You'd know why a person can be so utterly disappointing. 

Sincerely,

Human